What is imposter syndrome and how to combat it?

The class cheers for you as you reach the podium to give your valedictorian speech, your parents are proud in the crowd and the teachers elated but you feel like a fraud, a cheater, who got here because of sheer, dumb luck. Well, this feeling of unworthiness is what is termed as Imposter Syndrome.

What exactly is it and its consequences

Pauline Rose Glance was the first to study it and along with Suzanne Inas, they coined it Imposter Syndrome.

Imposter syndrome is described as the fear, commonly found in high-achieving individuals, that they are unworthy of the recognition or reward they are getting and the world would sooner or later find their con behaviour. This general conception of the high-achieving individual doesn’t align with the perception of others towards that individual.

This behaviour enables them to overwork themselves so as to prove their worthiness just to fail in this scenario created only in their own mind. They only get more and more burnt out in the process and live constantly in a state of dissatisfaction and self-doubt. Other consequences include anxiety, depression, by living in this constant paranoia of getting exposed.

Where does it come from?

This feeling is not foreign to a few individuals but a 2019 study had revealed that it can be found in 9 to 82% of the individuals depending on a lot of factors but was majorly found in ethnic minority groups.

Coming to its root cause, it can be variety of reasons like parental pressure, perfectionist personality trait, mental issues of the past, new burdening responsibilities and others.

This feeling of alienation and continuous unworthiness cannot be undermined by achieving more, as it can be seen in people loved and respected around the world like Maya Angelou, and even Einstein!

How to combat it?

The most effective way to combat this feeling is to talk about it, but here are some of the other ways that can help a person relieve themselves of this doubt:

• Challenge your fears with facts. Whenever, the feelings creeps in, just think why you stand out and think about all the affirmations you have got in your line of doubt.
• Make better networks and friends who help you grow out of your doubtful behaviour. Talk to them about this feeling and they will provide reassurance that will boost your confidence.
• Stop the comparison pulley that constantly pulls more and more doubtfulness towards you.

Finally, Imposter Syndrome can be helped by seeking help and going to therapy or talking about your honest feelings with others who feel the same.

What makes Murakami a global hit? An analysis of Haruki Murakami’s writing style

Be it sushi, anime or literature in general, Japanese items and mannerisms have made a place in the global market and in people’s hearts. Murakami specifically has a knack for writing stories that are devoured religiously by minds all over the world. But to it see it simply, it is not heavy, articulate writing written originally for the global audience. It is even written in Japanese which has been translated! So, what makes it so appealing? Let’s dive in.
[P.S: I am no critic or expert in this field, I’m just jotting down the things that made me a huge stan of his.]

The feeling of being seen

Sometimes all we as readers want is to be seen, that we belong somewhere. It’s a universal feeling. Murakami writes such understandable, flawed characters who are almost very much like ourselves, it’s not like they are fighting fire spiting dragons, they are normal people, who just commit mistakes in the verge of love, or obsession or sometimes without any of these reasons. It makes us, readers feel as if our problems are not solitary or isolated to us but the characters too.

The pace

The general pace of his books is slow, it goes on from one life instance to another almost too fluently. This type of pace makes it able for the readers to not read but relive with these characters in that storyboard. The deliberate unhurried style allows its readers to sink in and surround themselves by the people, the objects, the ambiance of the page, it allows its reader to not only stand as a spectator but become the protagonist itself.

The ambiance and the writing style

Murakami has a certain speciality for writing with a calmness and neat, clean lines. He lays dialogues, even the angsty ones in such a sparse manner that brings tranquillity. It holds mildly true to other Japanese literature which has the kind of calmness to it.

The philosophy bound in small-talk

Although it feels like the characters are just shit talking without any value or deeper meaning to it on the surface level, if we actually sit and ponder then it reveals what their true motives and meanings are. There is also a collective sense of purposelessness in it. It is interesting because this shows that our characters do not require any kind of hard and sure goal to live and move ahead. They just swing with it, just like we all do.

The call of the unlived nostalgia

Take the example of Norwegian Wood, which is a call to the nostalgic past of the narrator and his messy love story. The exact incidents of the book have not happened to us but we still distil ourselves into it as though we have been the victims of that love, experienced and left. This feeling of nostalgia mingles with magical realism (almost like Studio Ghibli movies) makes it all the more enticing.

These were my general thoughts that I think made Murakami stand out. Feel free to comment down any mistakes or your takes on the subject!

Grandmother

O grandmother,
You are such a beauty
The branches racing on the back of your hand,
Are waiting for the leaves to cover their misery
Your recurring tales are sweet because of your whistles
The face of yours has a terrain
Made to cradle the crops
Who are sitting in front of you.
Clouds behind your spectacles
Pamper us to became yours
Your grease clad hair, tell tales of black and white era
So splitting yet merging

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An ode to historical period dramas

Of vibrant dresses and pale palette walls, 
Of bustling ballrooms and silent talks, 
Of corsets and knee breeches, 
Stands a period piece that captures it all. 
Of good-natured love and grand-natured parties, 
Of royals and royalties; 
Where folklores are born. 
A maiden of the kingdom falls for the charming prince, 
The unrequited love, of sisters growing into ladies, 
The pride and prejudice and the sense and sensibility 
And a beauty falling for a beast. 
Of wars and victories and hats and silks, 
Of an era gone with the wind. 
Of retros and Romeos 
Of violets and Juliets 
Vintage tea being served. 
A period drama takes it all. 

Dear old books

Dear old books,

Taking time out of my daily errands, I visited the old public library that thrives in the corner of my street, to return an old favourite and bring a new one. The librarian was a familiar face, and the books my friends (well, most of them) and some acquaintances. Surfing through isles for a book that will shake my fancy, I found a tattered looking book on the 12^th shelf, 13^th from the right.

The old, rusty, yellow turned pages of the book revealed a world beyond when these pages were first discovered. I turn a few more of them to find an old hydrangea flower that has long lost its smell but have taken a new fragile form of beauty.

Turning pages, I found two pages, stuck together which, when disclosed, told the story of lovers two, whose relationship was stitched together by sending love letters, whose evidence is found between those rusty parchments.

On page 92, there are stars around the corners, and I read the page to find out that it is the one where the princess meets the prince. Page 1123 then reveals a tear-stained page that was shed over a favourite character’s death.

I turn the last page to find an old library card that says it was last issued in 1992. It still holds two blank columns and I fill in my name and wonder when will the next one come?

These old books have taken the form of their previous readers and changed their forms. But the smell still remains the same.

I found an old friend in you in the library, maybe my best friend will find someone in the future too.

Yours,                       

Suta

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Want to read more from Suta’s diary? Then click on the following links:

• Dear insecurities
• Dear childhood bestie

Homecoming and a plausible explanation for my week-long hiatus

Hello there,

I have been absent for approx. a week from the blogosphere (as if I had been quite consistent in posting earlier, lol) and I have come to the realisation that I owe an explanation.

So, let me tell you the story about the total fiasco that was my university reopening. My university was to open from 25^th and I was travelling the same day. I reached on 26^th and was welcomed with the breaking news that one guy was found COVID positive in the boys’ hostel of my university. This triggered a nonsensical kind of chaos in our hostel and specifically in my friends’ circle. A day passed and on the 27^th, my train ticket was booked for me to return home! Since I had my blood relations living on the way, so I had to mandatorily stay at their place for 5 days (to say the least). On 28^th, I reached their place and was okay for a day or two, when another breaking news broke in to declare that the twenty-something COVID cases found in my college were actually found to be negative and this actual mishap was caused because of faults in our testing kits! So, now another stream of panic struck all of us as now we were all in our homes (I being at my relatives’ house) and had no intention of returning to the hostel AGAIN! After a few calls here and there, I decided that since my college had not yet released any official notice, so I will return home and will only come back once my offline classes have begun. And this conclusion made me reach home on the 5^th of March. At last!

So, this was my whole vicious cycle of moving to stay at my hostel accommodations only to return after a day’s stay. So, to sum up, this week-long period was a total fiasco but I did actually enjoy watching some movies during this time. Maybe, we’ll talk about those in the next one!

Till then,

Bye Bye

An ode to stories

When the clock strikes twelve,
And the last petal falls,
And someone reunites with their long lost love,
Then magic begins
And stories are created.
An unrecognizable day,
I set my gaze onto a butterfly flying, 
And follow it
Into the deep and dark, where
I meet two siblings, 
Following breadcrumbs to reach their estranged home;
A few inches deep and 
I meet a cat with boots,
Talking relentlessly about his conquers;
A few inches deep, a welcoming tree,
I fall asleep,
To wake up in Wonderland,
To see Wendy, 
Waving her wand.
The spell hits me, and
I get transferred
To my lil’ bedroom,
To discover that I have left home in fairyland.
  
   

Generally rambling about a reading slump and partially introducing myself

Hello there,

After eleven posts and five months of staying on WordPress, I have finally come to peace with my invalid inner self (also called conscience) to finally introduce myself on this platform. So typical of me! So, I am Stuti Prajna Patra as some of you might have known from my comments on your posts and am from India. I am really passionate about books, movies, podcasts and all sorts of storytelling platforms. You might not call me an avid reader cause’ I read two or in some superficially extreme situations three books a month.

Now that I have introduced myself (very formally, I know), I’m gonna tell you about the recent dilemma that I have been facing and that is a READING SLUMP!! I have been trying to read sooo many books lately but have failed terribly at everything. I tried reading all of my feel-good books again to gain a slow momentum of reading but somehow I read a few pages and then DNFed each one.

The slow symptoms of reading slump started showing in December when I first got notified about my exam date. Which will occur in March 2021! And I have not read a single syllable of my textbook!!! This sudden notice came like a thunderbolt to me and I thought about finally starting my studying. Just thinking. You might say here that I have a lot of time since my exams are from March, but panicking is my general tendency towards my slightest of problems. Surprisingly, I followed my determination to start studying for exams for almost a week and in that week, I remained away from any sort of books containing fiction. After a week, I started showing slow deviation from my reading patterns. The panic forsook me again but this time I thought of reading a book. After surfing for hours through my TBR (To Be Read), I picked up “In a Holidaze” by Christina Lauren. Midway through the first chapter and my mind started wandering onto the things and the pale-coloured wall in my bedroom. I started contemplating the meaning of life while staring at the blank wall. I was distracted by a shrill noise of my microwave and realised what I have been doing. This same thing happened multiple times, till one day I realised that maybe I should not read a new book but read some old fabs for fun.

Oh yeah, it didn’t go as planned. Book after book and nothing enchanted me to continue reading till the end or even a significant amount. Till now, I have not been able to get through a single book, not even short fiction books or novellas.

Currently, I am reading “Little women” and it’s going pretty great. Maybe the next time I write to you, I would have completed it. Till then,

Bye Bye♡

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Stagnant at a place, change

Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back everything is different. – C.S. Lewis

I came across this quote some time back. Today there came a sudden urge to write something in relation to this quote. So, I have written down something that might be vaguely related to this. Hope you all like it!

The Times They Are a-Changin’
They said
But I am scared and not prepared
I have seen saplings grow to trees from my bay window
And have felt that puny spider, who sits in the corner
Spindle its webs around me
To keep me connected to my place
I have collected dust over my shoulders
And I fear change.
January never lasts more than 31 days and February turns one,
I sat there and still am
The sunlight comes peeping in through the little cracks in the back
But I’m still in the dark
The bell in the nearby shrine rings
And I get disturbed from the stance
Look around
To see no one out and about
I run down the hall where the old mirror still stands
Take a glimpse into it
And see a whole new person all at once.
   

Some of my feel-good book recommendations

With the reopening of colleges and an abundance of left out tasks to complete, I am stuck in a terrible reading slump and I have decided to pick up some of the “feel good” books to lighten my everyday mood and get me into working more. Well, feel-good books can vary from reader to reader, but it basically means books that make you feel warm, cosy and leaves you on a happy note after the last page.

So, if you too are in a mood for some fluffy and wholesome books that will give you some cottagey vibes them join in, as I’m going to list down some of the books that no doubt will make you feel good.

Anxious People

Fredrik Backman is an expert in writing books that will hit you right in the feels and will make you swell up. But this one, in my opinion, is going to leave you satisfied like, you have just watched a realistic fairy tale.

So to give you a quick remise of the novel, this revolves around a hostage drama that has taken the town by surprise. And involved in that are eight incredibly anxious strangers and a bank robber who disappears into thin air. These people talk about their lifelong grievances while being held, hostage. And gradually we get to know how these people are connected.

The story makes the reader rekindle their belief in hope, compassion and friendship and just being genuinely good to others.

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Little women

The infamous classic written by Louisa May Alcott has caught my affection.

The story requires no explanation but still, it revolves around the four March sisters, completely different from each other but are tied together because of their love for each other. The coming-of-age story spans throughout the sisters being teenagers to finally getting settled in their lives.

The book discovers the role of family, ambition, love and friendship. It has those sweet, cosy and light-hearted family moments that will make you feel home.

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Pride and prejudice

Okay, I know I am recommending another classic here, but it is worth mentioning. The wicked wit of Jane Austen has been perfectly proved in this book as she writes protagonists that have been long thought to be correct but eventually get proven wrong at the end.

The premise of the novel as most of you might know, is set around the Bennet sisters and their parents. But the protagonist, Elizabeth Bennet, the second eldest, level headed sister and her clash with the proud and conserved Mr Darcy is what makes the novel so compelling.

The novel though romantic still excels in giving some incredible family moments.

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Get a Life, Chloe Brown

This contemporary adult romance is something that all of you should read. Taila Hibbert does an amazing job at portraying the characters and their dynamics wonderfully. The relationship is never toxic and all good.

The story’s protagonist, Chloe Brown has a chronic illness and once she encounters a near-death experience, she determines to finally “Get a Life”, thus she makes a list to fulfil the very same. But then enters the next-door neighbour, a hunk who has just come out of an abusive relationship and things change for the better.

The book does an incredible job at staying thoroughly enjoyable as the cute, fluffy romance will make your heart swell.

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Harry Potter

Harry Potter? Always! Sorry for recommending it again but this was mandatory. My list of feel-good books cannot possibly end without mentioning Harry Potter. Though a fantasy, it still makes me feel cosy every time I read it. J K Rowling does a fantastic job at doing that.

Alright, the brief premise involves Harry Potter, a born wizard, discovering the world of magic and the magical school, Hogwarts along with his pals, Ron and Hermione. The trio faces off with several magical but daunting creatures while studying at Hogwarts. Not only this, but in the foreground it shows the rise of a Dark Lord, who is feared by everyone.

The wizarding world has always been my home. It has solved all my problems and made me feel at home.

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Alright, I’m done. These are some of the books that I think are wholesome and that I’m sure will make you feel relieved during these crazy times. Happy reading!